I’m pleased to see that others have pointed out how Trump’s comments in the disgusting video where he talks about how he assaults women helps to prove that we live in a rape culture. While they address that significant problem, I want to talk about our apology culture and our support things we hate culture and our tell us what we want to hear instead of the truth culture. Because I think these things are equally significant and considering them carefully might help us get to the roots of many problems.
We live in a culture where dishonesty is taught from birth. And it is killing us.
My question to parents who force their children to apologize for things that you know they purposely did, because they wanted to do them is: at what point in their upbringing do you sit them down and tell them the rules change? That, from that point on, they should only apologize when they truly feel sorrow and intend to change their behavior? That it is dishonest to say the words, “I’m sorry,” unless they are certain they will not repeat that injury? If you never had that talk, with yourself and your children, how can you be shocked or confused when adult-children like Donald Trump utter words they don’t mean for personal gain?
It is no surprise to me that people who were raised to instinctively grunt an insincere, “Sooorrry,” to keep from being punished are, as adults, pumping out ridiculous petitions to demand that deplorable people stand before cameras and say words that they don’t mean. What does surprise me, because I refuse to believe people are truly incapable of learning from mistakes, is that people keep signing these petitions without realizing that all it accomplishes is to reward the person who issues the insincere apology with media attention and a softening in the criticism they rightfully earned, and to assist the petition makers in padding their mailing lists.
In this example, where Trump succumbed and (from what I hear) ineptly offered a self-serving apology for being himself eleven years ago, although we have seen, consistently, daily, forcefully, without doubt that he has not changed that behavior in the least, people tuned in to watch irresponsible media cover that ridiculous apology. Many of the very people who complain daily about how much media attention he gets, how irresponsible media has been, etc. And, they are now sharing that ridiculous, self-serving apology, which helps him and the media.
Not only did I not watch the apology, I will not share a link. Instead, I share this video and ask everyone to please discuss our fake apology culture.