Dear Senator McConnell:
I have enjoyed many roles in my life – daughter, sister, cousin, friend, wife, employee, volunteer, advocate, writer, musician, sit-down comedian, grammar Nazi, - and now, obsessed letter writer, terrible painter, and wannabe gardener. While I shamelessly admit that I am not the picture-perfect, stay-at-home, domesticated, Susie-Homemaker/Betty-Crocker kind of mom who campaigns for martyrdom with endless tales of how I sacrificed every second of my time to my children, I do treasure my children and consider my role as a mother the most rewarding role in my life. Some might consider it rationalizing, but I hope to convince them, and you, that the time I spend writing to you is every bit as important to my children and grandchildren as the time I spend baking cookies and drawing with sidewalk chalk. Saving their world is better for them in the long run than eating a plate of cookies.
(Okay, I bake cookies once a year and write to you once a day. Honesty still feels good.)
I know you are not a mother and even argued that point with a guy I heard call you that. Still, I want to wish you a happy day and use this opportunity to deliver a couple of long overdue gifts, as well as to thank you for the gifts you have given American mothers today.
My first gift is an introduction to United Parcel Service, Inc. (NYSE: UPS) , the world’s largest package delivery company. Although their headquarters are in Georgia, they have a tiny little – no, wait – honesty does feel good and you are a big boy who can handle embarrassment – they have a HUGE Worldport air hub operation in Louisville, Kentucky (a short drive from U of L if you want to visit and learn more about it).
I hope you are sitting down for this next part. Listed among United Parcel Service’s major competitors is the United States Postal Service. In your letter dated September 9, 2009, you said to me:
“In your correspondence, you expressed your support to a government-run insurance plan, sometimes called a ‘public plan option’. While this might seem like a good ‘option’ at first, in reality would soon become the only option. That’s because private companies couldn’t possibly compete with government, which could use an unlimited amount of taxpayer money, dictated prices to doctors and undercut current coverage for millions. Nonpartisan experts have estimated that enacting this so-called option could cause 119 million Americans to lose their current insurance and end up in a government-run plan. And that’s where our real troubles would begin. As we see in countries that already have government-run health care, once government takes over, it starts limiting access to care.”
I realize now that I forgot to list editor as one of the roles I enjoy.*
Now that you’ve met UPS, I am sure you must regret terribly the misconception you propagated in the letter I quoted. I wouldn’t be concerned enough to risk embarrassing you this way if I believed you penned that masterpiece solely for me, since I knew the truth when I read it, but I don’t believe that. I suspect that same letter went to the many people who wrote to tell you they supported a public option. My next gift to you is that I will spread the news about how UPS just slipped your mind, and I’ll do what I can to clear up the faulty impression you tossed out. I’ll inform people about the progress of the health care bill that passed without your help, and as they shed the false fears that you and so many other Republicans generated through misstatements and letters like the one I quoted, I’ll remind them how much better health care reform can be if we go back and add that public option. (Don’t worry; I’ll address your errors regarding what “we” see in other countries in more detail another letter.)
I speak only for myself but am sure many mothers would join me if they had the chance. (Would it be okay for me to speak for THE American mothers? Nah. I’m sure there must be a few ungrateful wenches who won’t agree so I’ll stick with honesty.) Thank you, from the bottom of my bleeding heart, for failing to block health care reform. I’m sure, now that President Obama announced the progress, you are pleased with that failure as well.
In case you missed it, here’s President Obama’s weekly address: Health Reform Starts to Kick In
*I’m sure your office staff must miss my editing, so here’s a gift for them:
“In your correspondence, you expressed your support to a government-run insurance plan, sometimes called a ‘public plan option’.[since the buzz words were public option without plan stuck between them, not knowing this reflects very poorly on how well you listen to THE American people] While this might seem like a good ‘option’ [Why would you offset this word with punctuation when you go on to say you don’t think it will be an option? Redundant and – well, as unprofessional as my writing. It works for me because my intent is to let you know I mean to insult you.] at first, in reality would soon become the only option. [You state this as fact when it is not a fact. Not good for earning trust. I would suggest adding ‘might possibly’ before ‘become the only option’, and even that’s a stretch] That’s because private companies couldn’t possibly compete with government,[oooops, caught with your pants down here.] which could use an unlimited amount of taxpayer money, dictated prices to doctors and undercut current coverage for millions. Nonpartisan experts have estimated that enacting this so-called [unprofessional and childish] option could cause 119 million Americans to lose their current insurance [did you even consider mentioning that they would still be insured under the new plan, along with the number of uninsured people who would finally have some coverage? Think about that for a second?] and end up in a government-run plan. And that’s where our real troubles would begin. [Silly you. The troubles began long ago and that was the reason for this whole discussion] As we [Nope. Once again, this is what YOU see. Sometimes, when one person sees things that others don’t, that one person is delusional. Might not want to invite this type of scrutiny] see in countries that already have government-run health care, once government takes over, it starts limiting access to care.”
Anxiously waiting to thank you for Wall Street Reform,